Spring blessings!

We received some beautiful blessings this week, and I was elated after I saw them. I’m sharing the pictures below –

Fear has no power when you release it

Today, I’ll share about a fear that I conquered recently. This fear has been there for a while and I am ecstatic after overcoming it. Thanks to my wonderful husband for empathizing with me while I was dealing with the fear & helping me overcome it gradually.

While I was studying at school/college, I traveled to a lot of places by road in a car. Some of the places that I frequently traveled to were Solapur, Hyderabad, Mumbai, Pune, etc. I don’t have a count of how many times I would have traveled to these places by road. I even traveled to multiple cities in the south of India(close to 12 cities) in a single road trip with my parents & siblings. It was one of a kind, and I’m longing to do such a trip again in my life. After moving over to Bangalore, I did travel to places like Mysore, Ooty, Kodaikanal, Wayanad with friends/colleagues.

After a few years, I developed a fear for traveling by road to outstation places. During one of our road trips from Ooty to Coimbatore, the driver drove rashly for a bit, and I was on a super-alert mode & super-scared. My husband warned the driver and he slowed down. It was then I realized that I have developed a fear which dates back to my school days. I lost two people in my life to road accidents. The first is my Aunt i.e. my dad’s elder sister and the second is my Grandpa’s younger brother. Both of them were in their late 30s or early 40s. I was very close to both of them. One more reason why the fear crept in was that I was diagnosed with bulges in 2 of the discs in my spinal cord(slipped disc) in the year 2017. I had excruciating pain in my lumbar spine and wasn’t able to stand straight for days. This condition had been there since 2013, but we weren’t cognizant of the exact reason then. Whenever I get severe pain in my lumbar spine, it doesn’t allow me to stand, sleep or sit. It is terrible. On the first few days, the pain is excruciating and it takes a couple of weeks to go away in totality. Sitting for too long is strictly prohibited due to this condition. Even when I am working at office or home, I take breaks from sitting and stand while attending most of the meetings. Now you can imagine why this is the second reason for the fear, as long drives require one to sit for hours and bad roads can make it worse. Whenever S and I plan for vacations, we prefer taking flights if that’s an option to reduce the travel time i.e. the sitting hours(more precisely).

Despite the condition of my back, I have yearned to conquer this fear that I’ve developed over the years. Last year, S and I bought a new car after multiple test drives. This car has great shock absorbers or suspension, and it is very smooth even on some bad roads that are present in the city. S got new seat covers fitted which provide extra cushioning. All of this effort was put in so that we can go on a long drive with ease. We traveled to a city Chikmagalur which is situated about 240-250 km from Bangalore by road in our brand new car. Woo hoo! We took enough rest before the journey and halted at multiple spots to take a break from sitting. I am so delighted that I could overcome this fear. The credit goes to S for doing everything in his capacity to make me feel super-comfortable, and help conquer my fear at the same time. I am so blessed to have him in my life.

Focus!

Teachers have an everlasting impact on the lives of their pupils. Time & again, I am reminded of an experience from my schools day which helps me regain focus in life whenever needed. I had participated in the English Elocution competition in 9th grade at school. Despite being aware of my stage freight, I wanted to go for it and do well. My English teacher’s motivation played a crucial role in inducing the confidence I needed at that time.

My teacher handed over an audio cassette which had the recitation of the poem that I needed to prepare for. She asked me to listen to it, learn and practice by saying it out loud in front of the mirror. Doing it in front of the mirror helps in keeping a check on your expressions. I went home and played the cassette. To my surprise, the poem recited was familiar to me and had been one of my favorites at my previous school in Pune. The poem was “Lochinvar” by Sir Walter Scott. You can read the poem here.

During my practice sessions, my teacher explained the importance of focus during recitals in the Auditorium in front of a large crowd. If one loses focus due to any distraction, he/she may lose the train of thought. I did well during the practice sessions conducted in front of my teacher and a few seniors. On one fine day after my practice session, I was pleased after overhearing a conversation between my seniors accidentally. They felt that I was one of the strong contenders for the first prize.

Needless to say, on account of my love for the poem, I loved reciting in front of the mirror at home. I was confident that I’ll perform well at the competition too. On the day of the competition, when my name was called out, I went on stage. I was a bit nervous after seeing the crowd. The Auditorium was full. There were external judges, teachers and students. This setup was nothing like the practice sessions and the recitals in front of the mirror. I told myself that I need to focus, no matter what! So, I started reciting with confidence. While I was reciting, I spotted a group of boys in the crowd saying some funny stuff out loud, and I got distracted. I forgot a verse due to the brief distraction, but I continued and finished the poem. I was so disappointed in myself. I had prepared so much for this. When I met my English teacher outside the Auditorium, she patted on my shoulder and said, “It’s okay dear. It happens. Go and join your friends”. I had tears rolling in my eyes. More than stage freight, it were the crazy comments that distracted me.

On that day, I failed to deliver on stage, but I learnt one of the most important lessons in life on “FOCUS”. I am reminded of this incident every now and then. It helps me regain focus. I am extremely thankful to my English teacher who was super-kind that day, and she made me realize that it is okay to fail once in a while. However, it is important to regain focus and complete what you’ve started with. Few years later, my sister N participated in a similar competition. My English teacher quoted this incident and asked her to learn from it. I was taken aback when N told me about her discussion with the teacher, as I had not expected my teacher to remember this after so many years. My sis, N, was always confident during stage performances and she did bag a prize at the competition 🙂